Zompocalypse WOW Side Story

        Reno browsed the aisles of the local Blockbuster video, searching for the perfect movie. The fluorescent lights popped on and off in spastic fashion, but otherwise the store was in good condition. The new releases ran along the walls, caging the older movies in clumps segregated by genre. He’d been in the place countless times, yet as usual, he took hours just trying to find one movie. He cocked his head to look over to his buddy Orlando.
“Hey, y’know what they need? A section called “Brick-Shitting Movies,” He said.
“That’s impossible. There are no criteria to judge the movies by. What makes one person shit a brick could be completely mundane to another person,” Orlando said.
“Yeah, but it’d be really cool!”
“Can we hurry it up? I think the zombies have figured out we’re in here.”
Outside, a handful of the undead began to shuffle toward the rental shop. They bumped into the plate glass windows. Each time they would stumble back a few steps, then shuffle forward and bump into it again. One of them fell on its back and started to gurgle as it clawed at the air. A few let out choked moans when they saw movement inside.
“Let ‘em get their movies at Wal-Mart or something. I’ve got to find something we can keep watching over and over again until this whole thing blows over.” Reno picked up a copy of Halloween 3 and read the back of it. He tilted his head then scoffed and put it back. “It’s crap.”
The zombies started to claw at the glass, trying to reach the tasty morsels inside. One persistent bugger had its face pressed into the window, snapping its jaws. Its teeth made faint clinking sounds when they hit the glass as its nose broke off and slid down the window. A few more had been attracted by the moans and started to mill around in the parking lot. It had been only a couple days and already the town of Sun Prairie was showing signs of decay. The Pick ‘n’ Save just a short walk away for example, had been looted. What remained was a wasteland paradise. Anyone that could leave had already left by now, but Reno and Orlando opted to stay put and rent movies instead.
“I think they’re getting impatient,” Orlando said.
Reno muttered as he tossed Jersey Girl to his friend and told him to pick some more movies out. He broke down the door into the storeroom and carried out scraps of cardboard to the windows, taping them over the faces of the zombies so they couldn’t see in.
“Things won’t be normal again for a long time, will they?” Reno asked.
“Nope.” Orlando said.
“So then, we don’t have to worry about how much it’ll cost to rent a shit load of movies, right?”
“Pretty much.”
“You wanna just grab one of whatever looks good or particularly horrible and be done with it?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Reno grabbed a handful of bags from behind the counter while Orlando raided the shelves of anything mildly interesting. Old favorites like the rest of Kevin Smith’s works and the epic Snakes on a Plane. Orlando also grabbed less artful endeavors, so future generations would know what mistakes to avoid making. This was a much easier task: grab anything directed by Uwe Boll, Alone in the Dark for example.
As they filled up as many bags as they could carry, the zombies outside had gone back to milling around in the parking lot, bumping into one another. They had no interest in staring at cardboard taped to the windows since they couldn’t eat it. As a final touch, Reno and Orlando took a cue from their favorite game and made their way to their car hidden in cardboard boxes. None of the zombies seemed to care about the two boxes moving on their own accord, which bought the two friends enough time to get into their car.
Orlando threw the movies into the back seat as Reno started the engine and cranked up the volume on the stereo. Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” began to play loud enough to be heard across the parking lot, drawing the attention of all the undead still loitering in the area. Their heads began to sway and bob while they watched the source of the music drive away. The zombies followed, attempting to dance along the best that their awkward, decomposing bodies would allow. Of course, Zombies are far from graceful and many tripped over each other as they tried to dance and move forward at the same time.
“Where to now?” Reno shouted over the music.
“We could use some food.” Orlando said.
“Ice cream?” Reno’s eyes sparkled at the prospect of everyone’s favorite frozen treat.
“Hell yes!” Orlando said.
And so they drove off in search of their next target, a grocery store with a functioning freezer.